


Strange things did happen here.

by espiritus



Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout 4
Genre: Bittersweet, Confessions, Experimental, F/M, but why though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-22
Updated: 2017-12-08
Packaged: 2019-01-18 18:56:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12394137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/espiritus/pseuds/espiritus
Summary: Von prepares to leave Sanctuary with Mac and Duncan following the events of the main storyline. But, as she's packing the last of her things, Deacon surprises her with a secret he's been keeping for months.(I changed the rating from G to T because of some salty language that appears in the final chapter.)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> While I was playing FO4 the other day, it occurred to me that Von/Deacon would have made a lot more sense than Von/Mac, for several reasons. This is the result.
> 
> Haven't decided yet if or not I'll continue this. But, if I have time before NaNoWriMo, we'll see.

Night fell, and it found Von packing up the last of her belongings as she prepared to leave Sanctuary for Spectacle Island. Now that the ghosts of her past were dead and buried, she and Mac- Duncan too, of course- could move forward with their new life together as a family.

Mac was busy cleaning out his own cabin and keeping an eye on Duncan, who was playing with Dogmeat in a nearby vegetable patch. Von made eye contact with the little boy, who squealed and gave her an adorable wave as she went back to packing. Indeed, it wasn't how she'd envisioned becoming a mother, but she was more than happy to do it.

Duncan's gesture was a welcome distraction, of course, as she'd never liked moving. Cait had offered to help, though Von knew that this was something she needed to do alone. Having friends here was a reminder of everything she was leaving behind- safety, familiarity, and the life she'd worked so hard to build before all of... this.

Ever since she was a child, she'd been shuffled around constantly: her parents had shipped her off to boarding school as soon as she was old enough, and she'd been to three different ones before finally moving to the Commonwealth of her own volition. But even that hadn't been the end of it: she'd lived in in the C.I.T. dorms, then the Lexington Apartments, then 35 Court, before finally moving in with Nate. And that was precisely why she had to leave: Sanctuary was his, and there was no place for her in what remained of the old world.

Suddenly, there was a knock. She looked up, expecting to see Cait, but it was Deacon who leaned against the doorframe. "Hey there," he greeted her, peering at her over his sunglasses as he stepped into the room. "Just wanted to say good job on making the Institute go boom! They're gone, the synths are safe, and we're all still alive- what's the encore, Whisper?"

"I'm thinking an early retirement and a private vacation in the tropics... Whatever's left of them, at least. And what about you? I thought you guys had already left."

"Nah," Deacon replied, taking a seat on a nearby chair as Von squished another outfit into her pack. "We move out tomorrow morning. But Des wanted me to tell you that she's decided to make you a tourist. What a waste."

Von's ears perked up. "A tourist? What's that?"

"Someone who runs the occasional op. See, until you, none of us put much stock in the Minutemen- giving small people big power is what got us to where we are now. But you've made quite the impression on the higher-ups: some dusty old philosopher thought people were made of metals that defined their character... and you, my friend, are solid gold."

It was a corny line, but Von felt the corners of her mouth twitch upward into a smile anyway. "As are you," she replied, grunting as she squished a particularly bulky piece of armour into her pack. "You know, you should come visit us on the island, once we're settled. I'll never turn down good conversation, and I'm sure Cait'll be grateful for the company on the way there. I'll keep you posted via dead drop."

As she said it, she grinned proudly, and Deacon chuckled to himself as he helped her fold an extra blanket. "You're one of a kind, Whisper," he went on, letting his hand brush over hers as they stuffed said blanket into her satchel. "Going into this war, I thought I knew all there was to know about you-"

"Like what?"

"Well, for starters, your full name is Olivia Isabella Hadley von Brandt. _From the place cleared by fire_. You're a vault-dweller, born on October 15th, 2048; you're the General of the Minutemen and worked in intelligence pre-war... Want me to keep going?"

Von shook her head. "I'm convinced," she replied, rolling her eyes as she threw a pillow at his head. "But I'm still not sure what this has to do with anything."

"That's how conversation works," he quipped. "My point is, I know enough about you that just running off to some island after blowing the Institute to holy hell seems... odd. Like you're trying to escape from something- which you probably are, and I really don't blame you, after everything we just went through. But that you're taking MacCready and the kid too- it's just... are you sure this is what you want?"

There was a long pause. Von stopped what she was doing and peered up at him from her spot on the floor. "Of course," she said, her voice making it sound like a question as confusion painted itself onto her face. "It's all I've ever wanted: to live in peace, and to share that life with my beautiful family."

"Fair enough," he replied, watching her from behind his sunglasses. "But are you guys happy? Do you think he's the one, or are you only doing this because it's safe?"

She side-eyed him suspiciously. "Deacon, what is the meaning of this?"

"Maybe I don't want you to go."

The air grew eerily quiet, as though a bomb had just dropped and covered the space between them in silence. Von still looked confused, her eyes drifting back and forth between him and the doorway as though looking for an exit, before she finally spoke.

"You're lying."

"No, I'm not."

"Yes, you are. You can't even take off those damn glasses and look at me."

"So, that's how it is," he countered, doing just that as he looked her directly in the eye. "Fine. I get it. I've lied to you before, so I completely get that you don't trust me. But, if you never believe another word I say, believe this: you are the best thing that's ever happened to me since..."

He trailed off midsentence, trying not to picture Barbara's face as he forced himself to maintain eye contact with Von. She blinked, her eyes widening as it suddenly dawned on her.

"I see," she finally managed, the words sounding as though someone had squeezed them out of her throat with brute force. "But why now?"

Deacon sighed. "Been asking myself the same question," he replied, running a hand through his hair as he tried not to touch hers. "From the minute I laid eyes on you, I knew you were something special. I figured we'd make one hell of a team, and we did... but, whether it was you and MacCready, or nerves, or my own inability to tell you the truth, there was always something in the way."

He dropped his gaze to the floor before meeting her eyes once again. "Don't do this," he almost pleaded, reaching for her hand this time. "You're making a mistake, Whisper. MacCready, he... he doesn't deserve you. And I know you love the kid, but I can't just stand by and watch you throw your life away while you try and squeeze yourself into something that isn't yours. The Railroad needs you- _I need you_."

And, just like that, it was out there. He was breathing hard now, still reeling from the intensity of the moment; he studied Von's face and, though her expression didn't change, he knew that he'd hit a tender spot. But, instead of rubbing salt in the wound, he reached across the space between them and touched her cheek, keeping his gaze locked on hers.

"Do you believe me now?"


	2. Chapter 2

"Do you believe me now?"

For a moment, Von was at a complete loss for words. Until now, it had always been easy to take anything Deacon said with a grain of salt- ninety-nine percent of the words that came out of his mouth were obvious lies; she could see through his bullshit for miles and always caught on when things didn't add up. If she was wrong, and this was just another one of his stories, he wouldn't have missed an opportunity to make her feel like a complete idiot for believing it... or would he?

Perhaps she owed her healthy dose of skepticism to the deductive skills she'd honed pre-war. Her on-the-job training had taught her to interpret hidden cues- everything, from posture and speech to the little details, like eye movements and in which direction someone's head turned when answering a question. She had to admit that Deacon was pretty convincing- he was so committed to his own fabrications that he'd nearly gotten her on a few occasions, and there were even a couple of times she'd gone along with it, just to see if she could figure out what his end game was. But, if her work had taught her anything, it was never to ignore her gut instinct... which insisted that he was telling the truth.

"Let's say I do," she replied cautiously, scanning his face for something that might give him away. "Let's pretend, for a moment, that I do believe everything you just said, beyond a shadow of a doubt. What would it mean- for our factions, and for us?"

Deacon shrugged, but his hand remained on her cheek. "A long and beautiful relationship for the Railroad and the Minutemen. As for us, well..."

He hesitated, swallowing over the lump that had formed in his throat. "I'm an idiot," he continued, eyes dropping to the ground once more. "I never should have lied to you. But this is me, as naked as the day I was born. And maybe you don't trust me now, but I'll do whatever it takes to prove that you can."

"Very well. If we operate on the assumption that I, myself, have doubts about this arrangement, what would you say to that?"

She stared him down intently, and he let out a shaky breath- one he hadn't even realized he'd been holding. "You're not gonna make this easy, are you?"

"And, hypothetically, if I agreed to return to the Old North Church instead of going to the island, on the condition that you deliver the news to MacCready and Duncan yourself... would you still stand by everything you've just told me?"

As she said this, the look on Deacon's face shifted to one of incredulity. "Seriously?" he exclaimed, disguising the quiver in his voice with a cough. "Damn it, Whisper. I'm not a monster; you know I'd hate to disappoint the kid, especially since he's clearly taken a liking to you. MacCready, on the other hand... He'd probably spend the rest of his life trying to kill us both. So we'd be living on borrowed time, but it would be worth it because I'd rather die tomorrow than live forever in a world where you pretend to be just like everyone else."

He could feel her eyes digging into his core, searching for answers and sifting through the layers of lies upon lies to uncover the heart of the matter. "You see," he continued, tenderly running his thumb over her jawline as he tilted her head upward to force eye contact. "You're not like everyone else. You're brave, you're brilliant... I've seen what you're capable of, and that's why I can't let you go with MacCready. He doesn't love you- not the way you deserve."

Von's mouth dropped open, whether in shock or realization, and it remained that way for a moment before she remembered her manners and closed it. "I still don't understand," she admitted finally. "R- er, MacCready and I have been through a lot to get to where we are. There were times I wasn't sure where we were headed and, had you asked me then, I might have agreed to whatever it is you're suggesting. Why you waited until now is just... Never mind. It doesn't matter. But that window of opportunity is long over."

The corners of her mouth dipped downward as she broke eye contact, yet she didn't push his hand away. "I'm sorry," she said, her voice barely a whisper. "I still consider us friends, and nothing in the world will change that. You'll make some lucky girl very happy one day, but she isn't me."


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mac overhears the tail end of Von's "conversation" with Deacon and is not happy about it. As for the lady in question, she has a big decision to make, and the answer is... both of them!
> 
> Von chooses Mac: go to chapter 4.  
> Von chooses Deacon: skip to chapter 5.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now that NaNoWriMo is over, I'm back to this~ yay! 
> 
> Please don't eat me for not updating any of my stuff in forever, or changing my mind about how many chapters long this thing is. Kthanks.

"You'll make some lucky girl very happy, but she isn't me."

Even as the words left her lips, Von wasn't entirely sure that she believed them. She watched the look on Deacon's face shift, and a strange ache settled deep in her chest as she forced herself to hold his gaze.

Deacon gave an awkward half-smile. "Now _you're_ lying."

"Am not."

"Are so! I dare you to say that with a straight face."

In response, she huffed and folded her arms over her chest. Her mind was racing, and her cheek reddened under his hand like a fresh tato. "Knock it off," she replied stiffly, though her voice wavered as she said it. "We've been over this, and talking in circles isn't going to change a bloody thing. For the first time since waking up in that frozen hell, I'm happy- why would you want to take that from me?"

She tried to remain calm, though her entire body trembled as she began pacing in circles like an agitated cat. That she was defensive about all of this simply confirmed what he already knew: she _wanted_ to want to go with MacCready to the island and raise the kid together, to have some semblance of the perfect life she'd imagined before the bombs dropped, but her heart wasn't in it and she was mad at him for stating the obvious.

He couldn't blame her for it, of course- safety, comfort, and companionship were rare treasures in these parts, and MacCready could give her those things. Everyone wanted them, and anyone who claimed otherwise was lying. But Whisper wasn't meant to languish in some crappy settlement, scraping by and settling for _good enough_ : she deserved so much more, and he wasn't about to let her walk without a fight.

"Jesus, Whisper. It's not like that." Deacon sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "You know damn well that I'd go to the ends of the earth for you, and that your happiness comes before all else. Do you really think I'm saying this for my own sake, or has it crossed your mind that it's for yours?"

He reached for her hand, but she yanked it away. "Please," she retorted. "If you think I'm buying that, then all the radiation from the explosion's affecting your brain or you've been hitting Tinker Tom's stash a little too hard because you've completely lost the plot. I'm going to the island with MacCready and Duncan; that's final, and you can't stop me."

"You sure about that?"

_It's now or never._

Before she had a chance to react, Deacon grabbed her by the arm and kissed her. She pulled back, a horrified look on her face, and her green eyes burned with all the fury of a rad storm as she backhanded him square in the jaw.

"What the hell are you doing? What if-"

"Don't say it, Whisper. I don't care about him. Just you."

He reached over and touched her cheek, drawing her closer as he kissed her again. She resisted, but only halfheartedly this time, before collapsing into his embrace; she was so unsteady on her feet that he had to hold her upright. But this was possibly his only chance to get through to her, and he was determined to make it count.

A few short moments later, she pulled away. Her cheeks were red and slick with tears, and she was shaking from head to toe; for a second, it looked like she might slap him again, but she broke down crying instead.

"That's not fair," she choked out, in between sobs. "It wasn't supposed to be like this. All I wanted was to be happy. I _was_ happy. But you just had to... complicate things."

Outside, the wind picked up and the sky glowed a sickly green as the radiation storm rolled in from the Glowing Sea. Thunder crackled overhead, followed by a flash of lightning that illuminated Von's features in its otherworldly glow as the Geiger counter on her Pip-Boy clicked wildly. Even sad, she was beautiful, and it only made Deacon fall harder for her. But he hadn't wanted her to be unhappy; he only knew that she would be happier if she didn't go to the island. Yes, she'd be sad for a while, but not nearly as sad as she would be if she went through with her original plan.

Elsewhere on the settlement, the settlers had noticed the storm and all made for cover. Cait had taken Duncan and Dogmeat down to the root cellar, where they could play safely until the worst of it had passed, but MacCready had opted instead to wait for Von while she finished packing- a decision that, in hindsight, he was grateful to have made.

He didn't like Deacon hanging around Von, and just seeing him approach her cabin had aroused his suspicions. The man was a pathological liar- not even a good one- and everyone knew it. Yet here he was, filling Von's head with more of his bullshit, and Mac wasn't sure which was worse: that she believed him, or didn't and was still giving him the time of day. That she seemed to be considering this insane proposal was the icing on the cake; either she was giving the performance of her life, or she was dead serious and he was about to lose her for a second time.

Von always had her reasons for doing the strange things she did, even if they weren't immediately apparent, so he'd been determined to let it slide. But then, Deacon had kissed her- not once, but twice- and it made him sicker than the rads he was currently sucking down. So he grabbed his shotgun and kicked in the door as hard as he could.

"What the hell is going on here?"

Upon hearing his voice, Von immediately froze. The look on her face was equal parts guilt and horror, as though she held herself responsible for what this jerk had done, and it only made Mac want to hurt him even more.

"Are you okay?"

She nodded through tears, and Mac turned his attention to Deacon. "I don't know what you did to her," he spat, as though the words tasted bad. "But you'd better have a damn good explanation for this. And if you lie to me, I swear I'll punch your teeth down your throat."

"What, no points for honesty? If this is how you handle things, it's little wonder she's having second thoughts about going with you."

Mac said nothing, though he knew that his feelings were written on his face as he glared at Deacon. It was probably a lie, just like everything else that came out of his mouth, or an attempt to get a rise out of him- maybe both- and it was working. He wasn't thinking straight, and that was exactly what this idiot wanted. But Von wouldn't lie to him... would she?

"Olivia, I...is that true?"

Von dropped her gaze to the floor, a fresh flow of tears cascading down her cheeks as Mac and Deacon stared each other down. "Yes," she finally admitted. "It _is_ true. But it's not as simple as that. Please understand that it was never my intention to hurt anyone, and that I never wanted it to end like this..."

She trailed off midsentence and gulped down a sob as she fought for air. Deacon moved to comfort her, but Mac gave him a death-stare that made him reconsider. "I see," he replied, resisting the urge to choke the life from Deacon's lungs right then and there. "While it's not what I wanted to hear, I... I knew you wouldn't lie to me, unlike _someone_ we know."

"Enough with the cheap shots, MacCready. I hate to put you on the spot, Whisper, but I think we all know how this has to end. Just make it quick, okay?"

She nodded her agreement, a sob rippling through her chest as she weighed her options. There was no logical answer to the question she now faced, and that was the part that bothered her the most. But she could only choose one, and she'd have to hope that she was making the right call.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Von & Mac leave for the island and, despite his brave last stand, Deacon heads back to the Old North Church alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you think Von should have stuck with Deacon instead? Skip to chapter 5!  
> Otherwise, grab some popcorn and stay right here.

A few moments passed in silence. Mac and Deacon stared each other down, not once breaking eye contact as they waited for Von's response. Finally, she looked up, and her gaze travelled between them for a few minutes before she spoke again.

"Come on, then," she said, her voice breaking on the last word. "Grab Duncan. We're leaving."

As she said it, Mac felt a sense of relief wash over him, and he lifted his eyes skyward in silent gratitude. He knew that Von would never abandon them, that whatever crisis she'd suffered leading up to this was temporary- given that she'd just killed her own son, some insanity was to be expected, and he could forgive her for that. But Deacon had taken advantage of her vulnerability to plant those ideas in her head, and it would be a long time before he would be able to forgive and forget- that was, if he ever did.

With the worst part out of the way, Von shifted her gaze to Deacon. He was wearing his trademark sunglasses again but, though they covered his eyes, the rest of his face was a mask of distress, as though someone dear to him had just died. "Please," she said, touching his arm tenderly, as if trying to salve the wounds of someone who'd been mauled by a rabid yao guai. "You asked me to make it quick, so I did. I'm sorry."

Deacon didn't respond right away, but he didn't have to. Von could practically hear his heart shatter from across the space between them, and a part of hers broke along with it. "It's okay," he said finally, his voice lodged in the back of his throat like her namesake whisper, as he touched her cheek. "I guess I'll see you around HQ then. Maybe our paths will cross in the field."

"No, they won't," Mac cut in, stepping in front of Von as if to shield her from something. "I'll see to that myself. And, if I ever catch you anywhere near her again, I'm putting a bullet right between your eyes. Capisce?"

He didn't wait for Deacon's reply, but instead grabbed Von's hand and led her from the room without so much as a backward glance.

-

The following night, every Railroad agent who'd survived the war met up at HQ . The mood was a somber one, hovering overhead like a black cloud; many lives, human and synth, had been lost in destroying the Institute, and the remaining agents now huddled around a campfire, sharing stories and fond memories of the brave men and women who had given their lives for the chance at a better future. But, for Deacon, the whole thing was just a reminder of everything else he'd lost.

He opened some whiskey and took a long swig straight from the bottle, grateful that Whisper couldn't see him now. Telling her how he felt had been a huge risk, and his long history of compulsive lying had cost him. While caring about someone was a liability in this line of work, it was a chance that he'd been willing to take for her; unfortunately, her tumultuous relationship with MacCready had won out, and that parting threat had only ensured that he could never see her again, twisting the knife deeper still.

From across the room, he made eye contact with Glory, who'd noticed that he was keeping his distance from the group and came over to sit with him. She said nothing at first, opening her own bottle of liquor and taking an impressive gulp before lighting a cigarette and leaning back against the wall; she offered him the pack, but he declined, and they both stared into space, as though in silent understanding.

"Hey," she finally said, turning to face him as she stubbed out the last of her cigarette against a nearby wall. "You okay?"

Deacon thought about the question for a moment. While Glory had long been one of his most trusted colleagues, they weren't friends, and he wasn't sure he wanted to let her into such an intensely personal moment. At the same time, though, his lies had already cost him so much- what was left to gain from keeping this to himself?

"Depends on your definition," he admitted, with a weak laugh. "But no, I'm not."

For only the second time in his life, he'd told the truth, given someone the power to destroy him. But, as strange and terrifying as that kind of vulnerability was, it was also a relief. Whisper may have been gone, but the lesson he'd learned from her was here to stay.

-

A few weeks later, Von and MacCready had settled into their new lives on Spectacle Island. They'd spent nearly a fortnight clearing out the mirelurks and, now that Duncan was safely in Diamond City with Cait, they finally had some time to themselves. Von spent most of her days in the garden, unless the Minutemen needed her, and Dogmeat kept her company while Mac was off on whatever contract had piqued his interest. It was a very different life from the one she'd lived before the war, but she was happy just the same.

On this particular day, they were headed for Diamond City- they'd promised to visit Duncan and Cait once the farm had been established, and Von liked to think that she was true to her word- at least, she tried to be. They were just outside the city limits when Von noticed a mailbox with a rail sign painted on it. Thinking it a signal that something was amiss in the _great green jewel_ , Von reached into the box and pulled out a holotape labelled _Mercer Safehouse Update #1_ ; she slipped it into her pack as they made their way to the market and waited until Mac was out of earshot before popping it into her Pip-Boy's holotape player- a move that, once she heard what was on it, she was glad to have made.

_"Whisper, it's me. I was going to script this whole thing, rehearse it until it sounds like I'm doing fine. But I'm not, and pretending to be would undermine everything you've taught me. So I apologize for, uh, some of the things you'll hear."_

Deacon's voice broke on the last word, and Von felt her throat tighten as her heart skipped a beat. He sounded on the verge of a complete breakdown- she'd never heard him so distraught about anything before, and every word sliced into her soul like a machete. But she steeled her nerves and forced herself to listen to the rest of the message. 

_"I miss you, Whisper. You filled a void that I didn't want to admit was there, and it's killing me that you aren't here. HQ just isn't the same without you- I've been keeping busy, training some new recruits... But none of them are as smart, as brave, as brilliant as you. And, for the love of all things sacred, don't let MacCready find this tape- his opinion on the matter made it quite clear that he's angry with me, and I don't want him taking that out on you. So I guess this is goodbye, and... I love you."_

There was a shaky sigh, followed by a muffled stream of curses, and the tape clicked to a stop just a few seconds before Mac returned to her side.

"You okay?"

"Fine."

Satisfied, he extended his hand to her. She took it, and they walked off into the dusty market streets together, just as it was meant to be.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Von & Deacon head back to the Old North Church, & Mac leaves for the Capital Wasteland with Duncan.
> 
> (I'm not gonna lie: this was tough to write and, as much as Von/Deacon makes way more sense, I hated splitting her and Mac up. As a result, my potato crisps are extra salty because I may or may not have cried into the bag. So there's that.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Think Von should have stuck with Mac instead? Go back to Chapter 4.  
> Otherwise, grab a Nuka Cola and stay awhile.

A few moments passed in silence. Mac and Deacon stared each other down, not once breaking eye contact as they waited for Von's response. Finally, she looked up, and her gaze travelled between them for a few minutes before she spoke again.

"I'm sorry," she said, sounding as though she might cry. "I can't go with you. I'm needed here."

As she said it, MacCready felt a sense of dread wash over him, and a strange ache settled in the pit of his stomach as he realized that Von was truly lost to him. She'd come out of this war a different person, and losing her was Lucy all over again.

"You don't mean that," he answered pleadingly, as he tried and failed to keep his composure. "You're hurting right now; Shaun's gone, and I don't know that I ever could have done what you did. But you'll be okay; I'll take care of you, just like we talked about. Now, come on- let's get out of here."

He reached for her hand, but she pulled away as she peered up at him with sad eyes. "No," she replied firmly."We both know that things between us have changed. I wanted so badly for everything to work out, but I couldn't keep lying to myself, and it was bound to come out, sooner or later. Can you imagine me trying to explain to Duncan that I can't be his mother anymore? This is about so much more than just you and me."

While she meant well, her intentions didn't soften the blow of the words themselves. "What the hell is wrong with you?" Mac demanded, his entire body trembling with suppressed grief. "One second, we're getting along just fine; and, the next, you're that stranger who walked up to me at The Third Rail all over again. Maybe you two deserve each other after all, because you're a liar, and I'm done with you."

"I meant every word," she replied solemnly. "At least, I thought I did. I wanted to, and a part of me still does. I care about you, and it's because I care that I wanted you to know the truth. But, if that's how you feel, then nothing I say is going to convince you otherwise."

"Stop," he insisted, trying to disguise the quiver in his voice. "Just stop. I'm not falling for that crap again."

Von bowed her head in resignation; Deacon gave her shoulder a reassuring squeeze, and the gesture only made Mac angry. He had never felt so betrayed in his life, and all of it came as such a shock that she may as well have sniped him right in the chest from a thousand miles away.

"You know what? Fuck you. That's right. Fuck. You."

The pain that registered in her eyes at his words made him want to fall over and die, but he forced himself to keep going. "You heard me, Olivia," he went on, still shaking from head to toe. "I promised Duncan I'd never talk like that again. But, in your case, I think he'd make an exception. So get the hell away from me before I do something I regret."

Wordlessly, Von turned and walked out of the room, taking a part of him with her as she wandered down the dirt road and out of sight. Deacon moved to follow her, but not before Mac gave him a look that could have burned the entire settlement to the ground. "And you," he went on, imagining that every word was a poisoned dagger pressed to the other man's throat. "You have until the count of five to get the hell out of my sight. And, if I see either of you anywhere near me, or my boy, all bets are off. Now get out of here, before I change my mind."

Deacon did exactly as he was told, and Mac watched as he followed Von across the bridge, waiting until the pair vanished into the fog before returning to the root cellar. Just being there reminded him of Von; her presence was everywhere and he knew that, with her gone, there was no way he could stay here. They'd been through so much together, and all so she could evade him yet again; he'd tried so hard to rebuild what remained of his life after Lucy's death and, in just a few moments, Deacon had stolen that from him. He would never forgive either of them for it.

Just then, he felt Duncan's little fingers tugging on his hand. "Daddy?" the little boy asked, snuggling closer. "Are you crying?"

"No, buddy. Just got some dust in my eyes."

_For the love of Atom, try to sound like you mean it._

Duncan snuggled closer, and Mac held him tighter than he ever had, Even his own son reminded him of Von, since it was thanks to her that the little guy was still alive. She'd sacrificed everything to help him get that cure from Med-Tek- obviously, she'd loved him once. Where had he gone so wrong?

"Where's Miss Olivia?"

"She's gone," he answered, gulping back a sob as he tried to keep his voice even. "She's gone, and she's never coming back."

The little boy's face fell, and Mac willed himself not to cry as he hugged his son tighter. The simplest explanation was the safest for now- Duncan was too young to understand what had happened, and he didn't need to know. In a few years, they'd both forget that Von had ever existed, and they'd be fine without her. At least, he hoped they would.

They exited the root cellar and wandered, hand in hand, down the same dirt path that Von and Deacon had taken only moments before. It was the first time they'd ever travelled together, and Mac knew that he should have been happy to see his little boy so alive and well. But he would never be able to look at his son's face, or anything else in the Commonwealth, ever again, without seeing her.

"Where are we going, Daddy?" Duncan chirped brightly, as though he hadn't a care in the world.

"Home, buddy," Mac replied, his voice thick with anguish as he lifted the little boy onto his shoulders. "We're going home."

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ 

The following night, every Railroad agent who'd survived the war met up at HQ. The mood was a somber one, hovering overhead like a black cloud; many lives, human and synth, had been lost in destroying the Institute, and the remaining agents now huddled around a campfire, sharing stories and fond memories of the brave men and women who had given their lives for the chance at a better future. But, for Von, it was a night of quiet contemplation- she knew she'd made the right choice but, deep down, it still hurt.

She and Deacon were sitting on a pair of mattresses in a corner, away from the rest of the group, passing a bottle of whiskey back and forth. She'd remained silent since they'd left Sanctuary the day before. But, where Mac would have prodded her until she coughed up an answer of any kind, Deacon didn't push her to talk. Just his presence was comforting, since he seemed to understand that she disliked talking about her feelings, and he was content to give her the space she needed while she worked through them. 

Of course, he still worried about her. She was fragile, not weak; so far, she'd held up surprisingly well, but everything she'd endured- waking up in that icebox, being forced to kill her son, and the fallout between her and MacCready- was bound to take its toll.

"Hey," he finally ventured, slipping his arm over her shoulders. "You okay?"

Von peered up at him, her green eyes still full of sorrow. But she pressed herself into his embrace, rather than away from it. "Not yet," she admitted, resting her head against his chest as he stroked her hair. "But I will be."

Her voice was still raw from crying, but she let him hold her as he nodded his agreement. "Of course, you will," he replied thoughtfully, resting his chin on the top of her head. "The decision you made wasn't an easy one. I don't envy you and, believe it or not, there's even a part of me that feels for MacCready. But you did what was right for you; it isn't meant to be easy... and, for what it's worth, I think you were very brave."

"Perhaps. Either that, or incredibly foolish. But I needed to hear that. Thank you."

She shifted into the crook of his arm, her body forming a little ball as she leaned into him, and Deacon held her closer. Her skin was warm and soft, and she smelled faintly of whiskey and rain-water; it had been years since he'd been this close to someone, and just holding her made him feel more at peace. She belonged here, and the intense swell of affection deep in his chest was proof of that. Sure, lying had protected him from a great many things over the years, but honesty had rewarded him in a way that no amount of secrecy could ever hope to do.

"I love you, Whisper."

He watched her for a moment; her eyes were closed now, and the way her chest rose and fell with each laboured breath only made him love her even more. She looked to be asleep but, when he moved to tuck her in, her eyes flickered open.

"Love you too."

Convinced that she meant it, he wrapped her in a protective embrace. She pressed back into it, and they drifted off to sleep entwined, just as it was meant to be.

**Author's Note:**

> playlist:
> 
> 3 doors down, _here without you_  
>  hinder, _bliss/i don't wanna know_  
>  jamie-lee kriewitz, _the hanging tree_ (jennifer lawrence cover)  
>  mayday parade, _miserable at best_  
>  ravenscry, _redemption 1- rainy_  
>  tarja turunen, _i walk alone_


End file.
